When you say “Body Language” to most people, it conjures up images of catching someone in a lie. There’s a big problem with this, however; most people-including FBI and Secret Service Agents are at 50% or less with accuracy when it comes to detecting lies. That’s right, even at this level; they are going to be just as accurate if they simply flip a coin.
One reason for this 50/50 score can be found in the myths that many operate from as a way of “catching” liars. Most people, for example, have long held a belief that eye aversion, or making poor eye contact is an indication of deception. Not only is this false, but those who are lying will often be the ones who are making the most eye contact. Why? It’s rather simple, really.
Because of this myth that has been perpetuated for generations, most liars will consciously decide to look at the other person more, making prolonged eye contact. And, because the listener is most likely using this same myth as their model of “truthfulness” they will usually take the sustained eye contact as “proof” that the liar is being truthful. Are you already seeing the problematic loop?
I recently commented on Joshua Powell; the husband of the missing Utah woman, Susan Powell. After watching all the available video clips of Powell, I posted one short clip, and pointed out a couple of the things I noted.
The most compelling signal I noted in this clip was a brief expression of contempt that flashed across the face of Mr. Powell. It is important to note, that we cannot know what the contempt was about. I’ve heard some people , after seeing a micro-expression such as this, say “he was feeling contempt about XYZ” This is a fatal mistake. It’s called mind reading. All that we can do is notice the emotions being expressed. Anything further than this is an educated guess.
The weakest signal I pointed out in this clip was that of Powell licking his lips and then swallowing hard before answering a question. Does this mean he was lying? Absolutely not. It means he was in a “fight or flight” mode and that he was experiencing stress-probably in the form of fear. People telling the truth experience stress about things like “maybe they won’t believe me” all of the time. Again, we cannot say what Powell was stressed about, only that he was manifesting signs of stress.
What then, are we to do, when we seek to know whether someone is lying? Look way beyond body language, for sure. When I use body language to detect deception, it is ONLY for the purpose of determining whether I need to obtain more information, and NOT to “know” whether someone is lying.
Through testing with the technology of Dr. Paul Ekman, I have tested at over 90% at detecting deception. Is this far better than most people, even Secret Service Agents? Yes…much better. However, let me ask you this, if your future was possibly going to be a long prison sentence if it was discovered that you were lying, would you really want to have me make that determination, knowing that on my very best day, I would be wrong 1 out of 9 times? Didn’t think so!
I might add, I’m not what Ekman calls a “natural”; out of the thousands of people Ekman has tested over the years, only 50 people worldwide have been found to have this natural, intuitive lie detecting skill. Like most intuitive skills, however, “naturals” have no idea “how” they know, and therefore cannot teach it to others. My 90% accuracy has developed with training and countless hours of observation. “Natural’s” might be as high as 93% with NO training.
In short, the use of body language and non-verbal communication for trying to catch people lying is to ignore what I consider the most useful aspects of this field. My favored area is teaching people to skillfully use their OWN body language and non-verbal communication. To teach someone who is depressed, or anxious, or stressed, habitually, how to break these patterns and incorporate radically different, but well planned physiological patterns and to create the states that naturally result, is far more exciting.
Many who argue “Depression is a chemical imbalance” when attempting to refute the use of manipulating their physiology as a means of shifting into happier states of mind and body are right…and wrong. There ARE neurotransmitters than are abnormally out of balance with depression.
However, science has documented that these very neurotransmitters-like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine , just to name a few-shift dramatically with new and more efficient patterns of movement and changes in voice tone, pitch and speed- and this includes internal dialogue as well. Areas like this compel me to take my passion for body language into yet another decade of study.
Whether it is me, someone you are watching on T.V. or anyone else commenting on body language and lying, please remember this: while any of us may wind up having been right, it was an educated guess and not a “written in stone” fact. This will keep you out of a lot of hot water; relationships and friendships can be ruined in a snap when you claim to know someone is a “liar” and wind up being wrong.
© Copyright 2009-Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.
http://www.PhobiaGuru.com
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Hypnosis, Attention and Learning
Just last night, I read the story of a school in Bloomfield, Missouri (Middle School) that is planning to initiate a new plan; their new policy will virtually eliminate homework-or at least come close. This makes good sense for many reasons.
The goal, according to Superintendent Nick Thiele is to cut down on lecture time and up the time spent doing hands on activities. With this plan in place the students will have the opportunity to do what used to be done at home (homework) at school. As with any change with how things have been done,not everyone agrees.
According to Patty Yoxall, a spokeswoman for the National Parent-Teacher’s Organization, studies show that children should have roughly 10 minutes of homework for every grade level. 1st graders would get 10 minutes per night, 2nd graders 20 minutes etc. This would culminate with a senior in high school having 2 hours of homework per night.
Sylvia Seidel of the National Educators Association say’s “Children are bombarded with information during their school day, and it’s a lot to process; that’s one on the benefits of homework-to review what was not understood and prepare for the next day.”
Seidel is right about one thing; children are bombarded with a lot of information each day, and that’s exactly the point the Bloomfield, Missouri Middle School is addressing. Rather than saying “We need them to work MORE each evening so they can keep up and process what we are throwing at them during the day” they chose to ask “Is the way we have been teaching the most effective and efficient way to teach?” and “What could we do to streamline this process?”
I am a minimalist. I tossed taking “pride” in how long or hard I was working a long time ago. Many great mentors have taught me to ask “How can I meet the objective with the least amount of effort and energy?” I learned to eliminate phobias, for example, in an hour, rather than the months or years of therapy many of my clients had endured, but still had their phobia.
Sometimes there is no way around it; some things DO require long hours and hard work, but not nearly as many as some would like us to think.
While in Guam, I was invited to lunch by two local psychologists who were amazed that, one of their patients with a phobia of dogs who they had worked with-unsuccessfully- for 24 months, had become phobia free after one 60 minute session with me. “We just want to pick your brain” I was told.
After enjoying a wonderful lunch at one of Guam’s luxury hotels, I demonstrated for them, with one of their patients (another patient with a phobia of elevators) how quickly and easily my method worked. To say they were stunned would be an understatement. We all laughed and smiled as we rode up and down an elevator at the hotel; this patient had not been able to even step inside one for 6 years, even after 9 months of therapy. Weeks later, however, they still were not using the method.
When I asked (over another nice lunch) why they had not incorporated the method into their practice, Dr. Smith (not her real name) lowered her voice and said ‘Vince, what we saw you do was mind boggling; however, curing phobias in 1 hour, as opposed to 2 -3 sessions a week for many months is just not feasible from a financial standpoint. We have house payments and car payments to make, and seeing patients only one time would put us out of business!”
This was in 1999; it was my introduction to the world as it is, rather than the world as I’d like it to be. The methods they were using were not used because they were the most effective; they used them because they made the most money using the methods that they used. (I should note, this is not the case with ALL therapists, and some of them do use this method)
Dr. Richard Bandler taught me that “If the way you are doing something is very hard and arduous, it only means there is a better and more efficient way to do it-so find it!” While time will tell, I believe the Bloomfield Middle School has found it-or has at least taken an important step.
At this point, my experience with the R9 school district in Trenton, Missouri has been positive. My daughter is in the 1st grade and does not have what I would call a “burdensome” amount of homework, and what little she does have, she seems to enjoy. But in my travels across the United States ( and I must admit, I’ve heard some “horror” stories locally, regarding homework, but I cannot personally validate these complaints) I am often shocked to discover the homework load many elementary students have each evening.
Over the years, seminar attendees have frequently commented on my ability to hold their attention for 6 hours of training. It’s no accident; I work very strategically and methodically to keep adults-many who have been sent by their company and don’t want to be there in the first place-entertained and learning at the same time. Some of the most useful advice given to me years ago was “People love to be entertained, but few love to be educated. If you can entertain while you educate, you’ll do great!”
In truth, I do not “hold the attention” of adults for 6 hours; I captivate them for 20 minutes at a time…for six hours. To think you can keep the attention of an adult well enough for them to learn effectively for over an hour at a time is foolish, and research supports the “foolishness” of such an idea. Young children, as I’m sure you know, have MUCH shorter attention spans. Yet, we apply many “adult” time parameters to them.
8 am to 2:55 pm …almost 7 hours, is a LONG time for a 1st-4th grade student. In my book, “The Productivity Epiphany” in chapter 37, titled “Why Does Time Go Faster Each Year?” I present a formula for how children process time, when compared to adults.
When you and I were 10 years old, 1 year represented 1/10 of our entire life. At the age of 50, 1 year represents, and is experienced as 1/50th of our life. Using this formula, at the age of 6, summer vacation was experienced as being 27 weeks long. You’ve no doubt noticed how “quickly” summers go by as an adult, and how LONG they seemed as a child?!
This was great for summers full of fun and activity. But when it comes to sitting in a chair in a room with 15-25 other kids for 7 hours…well, the subjectivity of time can work in reverse.
Because of the tendency of human beings to think “Well when I was in school…” and then make the leap that the way they did things is the way things should still be, I’m sure the Bloomfield Middle School will experience some resistance from some people. And this means they are probably on the right track. We resist things that are different…at least initially. Administrators in Bloomfield noticed that each New year, more students were failing.
One belief that can bring a great deal of transformation is “If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else.” The idea that “There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback” is useful as well. Einstein stated that insanity was doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.
The jury is still out in Bloomfield; in fact, the plan hasn’t been officially introduced as of yet. We won’t know for some time whether their plan will work as anticipated. We do know, however, that the plan they had been using, had not. My hunch is that it will yield significant improvements in many areas. At the very least, I tip my hat to the Bloomfield Middle School for being willing to ditch tradition and do something innovative, incorporating recent research in this area (which, by the way, powerfully supports the changes they are making.)
What can we learn from this? That many times we are doing the things we are, only because that’s what those before us have done. Social pressure often “punishes” those who are bold enough to ask “Why do we do or think this way?” The pressure is often all it takes; the naturally curious and pioneering man, woman or child is taught to “toe the line” and “don’t make waves.” Thanks goodness for those who are willing to “make waves” and forge new and better ways of doing and thinking. And, in this case, thank goodness for the administrators at the Bloomfield Middle School in southeast Missouri!
Vincent Harris
http://www.PhobiaGuru.com
© Copyright 2009-Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.
The goal, according to Superintendent Nick Thiele is to cut down on lecture time and up the time spent doing hands on activities. With this plan in place the students will have the opportunity to do what used to be done at home (homework) at school. As with any change with how things have been done,not everyone agrees.
According to Patty Yoxall, a spokeswoman for the National Parent-Teacher’s Organization, studies show that children should have roughly 10 minutes of homework for every grade level. 1st graders would get 10 minutes per night, 2nd graders 20 minutes etc. This would culminate with a senior in high school having 2 hours of homework per night.
Sylvia Seidel of the National Educators Association say’s “Children are bombarded with information during their school day, and it’s a lot to process; that’s one on the benefits of homework-to review what was not understood and prepare for the next day.”
Seidel is right about one thing; children are bombarded with a lot of information each day, and that’s exactly the point the Bloomfield, Missouri Middle School is addressing. Rather than saying “We need them to work MORE each evening so they can keep up and process what we are throwing at them during the day” they chose to ask “Is the way we have been teaching the most effective and efficient way to teach?” and “What could we do to streamline this process?”
I am a minimalist. I tossed taking “pride” in how long or hard I was working a long time ago. Many great mentors have taught me to ask “How can I meet the objective with the least amount of effort and energy?” I learned to eliminate phobias, for example, in an hour, rather than the months or years of therapy many of my clients had endured, but still had their phobia.
Sometimes there is no way around it; some things DO require long hours and hard work, but not nearly as many as some would like us to think.
While in Guam, I was invited to lunch by two local psychologists who were amazed that, one of their patients with a phobia of dogs who they had worked with-unsuccessfully- for 24 months, had become phobia free after one 60 minute session with me. “We just want to pick your brain” I was told.
After enjoying a wonderful lunch at one of Guam’s luxury hotels, I demonstrated for them, with one of their patients (another patient with a phobia of elevators) how quickly and easily my method worked. To say they were stunned would be an understatement. We all laughed and smiled as we rode up and down an elevator at the hotel; this patient had not been able to even step inside one for 6 years, even after 9 months of therapy. Weeks later, however, they still were not using the method.
When I asked (over another nice lunch) why they had not incorporated the method into their practice, Dr. Smith (not her real name) lowered her voice and said ‘Vince, what we saw you do was mind boggling; however, curing phobias in 1 hour, as opposed to 2 -3 sessions a week for many months is just not feasible from a financial standpoint. We have house payments and car payments to make, and seeing patients only one time would put us out of business!”
This was in 1999; it was my introduction to the world as it is, rather than the world as I’d like it to be. The methods they were using were not used because they were the most effective; they used them because they made the most money using the methods that they used. (I should note, this is not the case with ALL therapists, and some of them do use this method)
Dr. Richard Bandler taught me that “If the way you are doing something is very hard and arduous, it only means there is a better and more efficient way to do it-so find it!” While time will tell, I believe the Bloomfield Middle School has found it-or has at least taken an important step.
At this point, my experience with the R9 school district in Trenton, Missouri has been positive. My daughter is in the 1st grade and does not have what I would call a “burdensome” amount of homework, and what little she does have, she seems to enjoy. But in my travels across the United States ( and I must admit, I’ve heard some “horror” stories locally, regarding homework, but I cannot personally validate these complaints) I am often shocked to discover the homework load many elementary students have each evening.
Over the years, seminar attendees have frequently commented on my ability to hold their attention for 6 hours of training. It’s no accident; I work very strategically and methodically to keep adults-many who have been sent by their company and don’t want to be there in the first place-entertained and learning at the same time. Some of the most useful advice given to me years ago was “People love to be entertained, but few love to be educated. If you can entertain while you educate, you’ll do great!”
In truth, I do not “hold the attention” of adults for 6 hours; I captivate them for 20 minutes at a time…for six hours. To think you can keep the attention of an adult well enough for them to learn effectively for over an hour at a time is foolish, and research supports the “foolishness” of such an idea. Young children, as I’m sure you know, have MUCH shorter attention spans. Yet, we apply many “adult” time parameters to them.
8 am to 2:55 pm …almost 7 hours, is a LONG time for a 1st-4th grade student. In my book, “The Productivity Epiphany” in chapter 37, titled “Why Does Time Go Faster Each Year?” I present a formula for how children process time, when compared to adults.
When you and I were 10 years old, 1 year represented 1/10 of our entire life. At the age of 50, 1 year represents, and is experienced as 1/50th of our life. Using this formula, at the age of 6, summer vacation was experienced as being 27 weeks long. You’ve no doubt noticed how “quickly” summers go by as an adult, and how LONG they seemed as a child?!
This was great for summers full of fun and activity. But when it comes to sitting in a chair in a room with 15-25 other kids for 7 hours…well, the subjectivity of time can work in reverse.
Because of the tendency of human beings to think “Well when I was in school…” and then make the leap that the way they did things is the way things should still be, I’m sure the Bloomfield Middle School will experience some resistance from some people. And this means they are probably on the right track. We resist things that are different…at least initially. Administrators in Bloomfield noticed that each New year, more students were failing.
One belief that can bring a great deal of transformation is “If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else.” The idea that “There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback” is useful as well. Einstein stated that insanity was doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.
The jury is still out in Bloomfield; in fact, the plan hasn’t been officially introduced as of yet. We won’t know for some time whether their plan will work as anticipated. We do know, however, that the plan they had been using, had not. My hunch is that it will yield significant improvements in many areas. At the very least, I tip my hat to the Bloomfield Middle School for being willing to ditch tradition and do something innovative, incorporating recent research in this area (which, by the way, powerfully supports the changes they are making.)
What can we learn from this? That many times we are doing the things we are, only because that’s what those before us have done. Social pressure often “punishes” those who are bold enough to ask “Why do we do or think this way?” The pressure is often all it takes; the naturally curious and pioneering man, woman or child is taught to “toe the line” and “don’t make waves.” Thanks goodness for those who are willing to “make waves” and forge new and better ways of doing and thinking. And, in this case, thank goodness for the administrators at the Bloomfield Middle School in southeast Missouri!
Vincent Harris
http://www.PhobiaGuru.com
© Copyright 2009-Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Hypnosis and Pain Reduction
Today, I was fortunate enough to see yet another wonderful example of how well hypnosis works for modifying, reducing or eliminating chronic pain.
It was the first session with a 44 year old woman who has been suffering with back and leg pain since 2004. She ruptured two lumbar discs in a fall. She later had surgery...which was successful, and, after a brief recuperation period, was pain free for all of 30 days, when she simply coughed one day, and damaged much of what doctors had repaired. That was in 2004; she has suffered with chronic and debilitating pain ever since.
The list of medications she has taken is rather long. Some have helped, of course, but to the degree most have helped, they have also made it hard for her to function in other ways.
Compounding her discomfort was a diagnosis 10 years ago of Fibromyalgia, and a childhood history of physical and sexual abuse.
After a two and 1/2 hour session, today, she was relieved to discover, that, even though she had been skeptical about whether hypnosis could help her, she was able to report a reduction of pain from 9 down to 4 on a scale of 1 -10.
Is she "healed" or "cured"? Far from it. She will require a few more sessions to learn how to induce the numbness on her own. She would also benefit greatly from addressing her past abuse issues.
However, what DID happen today was noteworthy; she now knows that her mind/body were responding, and that MORE is likely possible.
Vincent Harris
www.PhobiaGuru.com
It was the first session with a 44 year old woman who has been suffering with back and leg pain since 2004. She ruptured two lumbar discs in a fall. She later had surgery...which was successful, and, after a brief recuperation period, was pain free for all of 30 days, when she simply coughed one day, and damaged much of what doctors had repaired. That was in 2004; she has suffered with chronic and debilitating pain ever since.
The list of medications she has taken is rather long. Some have helped, of course, but to the degree most have helped, they have also made it hard for her to function in other ways.
Compounding her discomfort was a diagnosis 10 years ago of Fibromyalgia, and a childhood history of physical and sexual abuse.
After a two and 1/2 hour session, today, she was relieved to discover, that, even though she had been skeptical about whether hypnosis could help her, she was able to report a reduction of pain from 9 down to 4 on a scale of 1 -10.
Is she "healed" or "cured"? Far from it. She will require a few more sessions to learn how to induce the numbness on her own. She would also benefit greatly from addressing her past abuse issues.
However, what DID happen today was noteworthy; she now knows that her mind/body were responding, and that MORE is likely possible.
Vincent Harris
www.PhobiaGuru.com
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Chronic Pain and Hypnosis?
In a recent study in Geneva, Switzerland at the Hospital Contonal University by Department of Anesthesiology, hypnosis was compared to acupuncture as a method for pain control. The results showed that pain intensity was significantly lower with the hypnosis group than with the acupuncture group.
Do you know someone who is currently experiencing chronic pain or discomfort? Sometimes all that is needed for those who might be a little skeptical about hypnosis is for you to educate them about the most recent scientific findings and bring them up to date. Never try to push the idea of hypnosis until you know the persons current beliefs regarding hypnosis. Once you know where they stand, you will be in a better position, knowing exactly what kind of evidence they'll need to see or hear, before the hypnosis, as an option, becomes acceptable.
Till next time,
Vincent Harris
www.PhobiaGuru.com
Do you know someone who is currently experiencing chronic pain or discomfort? Sometimes all that is needed for those who might be a little skeptical about hypnosis is for you to educate them about the most recent scientific findings and bring them up to date. Never try to push the idea of hypnosis until you know the persons current beliefs regarding hypnosis. Once you know where they stand, you will be in a better position, knowing exactly what kind of evidence they'll need to see or hear, before the hypnosis, as an option, becomes acceptable.
Till next time,
Vincent Harris
www.PhobiaGuru.com
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